The family is the basic unit or ‘cell’ of society, and the Christian family is also a major building block of the Orthodox Church. The Church places great importance on the family to fulfill its role as a small church, as expressed by the Apostle Paul. When St. Paul greeted Priscilla and Aquila, his “fellow workers in Christ Jesus,” he also greeted “the church that is in their house” (Romans 16:3, 5). He also greeted “Nymphas and the church that is in his house” (Colossians 4:15).
Monasticism is also another major Christian social unit. The Church places this unit above married life as monasticism has played an important role as the guiding element in Her history. Monasticism supports the Church, preserves Her dogmas, and keeps the Divine Liturgy Orthodox. While the Church blesses the monastic life, She also blesses marriage, knowing that not all can take on the responsibility and commitment that comes with celibacy and living a monastic life. This blessing is acknowledged as a Mystery (Sacrament) of the Church.
The Mystery of Marriage
In the Mystery of Marriage, the Church asks God to help the couple being married understand, fulfill, and establish a ‘church’ at home, i.e., to establish Christian relationships within the family, to raise children in the faith and life according to the Scriptures, and to be an example of humility and patience for your children to follow.
The Christian family begins with the Mystery of Marriage, specifically with the exchange of rings and the placing of the wedding crowns (wreaths) upon those being married. This is accompanied by the words, “The servant of God N____ is married to the servant of God N____ in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,” and then, “O Lord our God, crown them with glory and honor.” The rings have a deep symbolic meaning. This symbolism is indicated with the words from the Service of Betrothal: “Through a ring, the authority was given to Joseph in Egypt; through a ring, Daniel was glorified in the land of Babylon; through a ring, the true identity of Thamar was discovered; through a ring, our heavenly Father showed mercy on the prodigal son; for He said, ‘Put a ring on his finger.'”
The crowns and their exchange symbolize the couple’s citizenship in the Kingdom of God, where “there is neither male nor female” (Galatians 3:28), and their dying to each other (see Revelation 2:10).
The Holy Scriptures and Marriage
The Holy Scriptures tell us that God “blessed” marriage from the beginning of time, saying, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth” (Genesis 1:27-28), showing that marriage is part of God’s eternal purpose for humanity. Further on, in Genesis 2:24, we read, “Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Our Lord Jesus Christ reiterated these words when asked if it is lawful for a man to divorce his wife. He continued, “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:4-6).
Christ forever sanctified marriage by His presence at the marriage in Cana of Galilee (John 2:1-11). This was the first time Christ performed a miracle, and the first time the Theotokos interceded with Christ on behalf of others, saying, “They have no wine,” and then instructing all humanity, “Whatever He says to you, do it.”
The Apostle Paul’s Teachings on Marriage
The Apostle Paul compares the Mystery of Marriage with the Church in these words, recited during the Crowning Service: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for her,” and “for this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the Church” (Ephesians 5:25, 31-32). In 1 Corinthians 7, St. Paul gives detailed guidance on virginity and marriage. He also commands that marriage should be preserved.
Thus, marriage is a holy, blessed, and everlasting sacrament in the sight of God and His Church.
Finally, history closes with the marriage of the Bride to the Lamb (Revelation 19:7-9), thus fulfilling the earthly marriage in the heavenly, showing the eternal nature of marriage.
Holy Matrimony is one of the Mysteries of the Holy Orthodox Church in which a man and woman are united by the Holy Trinity. Their conjugal union is blessed by our Lord Jesus Christ through the Church. God’s grace is imparted to them to live together in His love, mutually fulfilling and perfecting each other. The Mystery of marriage in the Holy Orthodox Church is steeped in ritual and symbolism. Each of the acts has special meaning and significance.
The Rings
The rings are blessed by the priest, who takes them in his hand and, making the sign of the cross over the heads of the bride and groom, says: “The servant of God … is betrothed to the maid of God … in the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” The couple then exchange the rings, placing the bride’s ring on the groom’s finger and vice-versa. The rings, of course, are the symbol of betrothal, and their exchange signifies that in married life, the weaknesses of one partner will be compensated for by the strength of the other, the imperfections of one by the perfections of the other. By themselves, the newly betrothed are incomplete; together, they are made perfect. Thus, the exchange of rings gives expression to the fact that the spouses in marriage will constantly be complementing each other. Each will be enriched by the union.
The Candles
The Wedding service begins immediately following the Betrothal Service. The bride and groom are handed candles, which they hold throughout the service. The candles are like the lamps of the five wise maidens of the Bible, who, because they had enough oil in them, were able to receive the Bridegroom, Christ, when He came in the darkness of the night. The candles symbolize the spiritual willingness of the couple to receive Christ, Who will bless them through this Mystery.
The Joining of the Right Hands
The right hand of the bride and groom are joined when the priest reads the prayer that beseeches God to “join these Thy servants, unite them in one mind and one flesh.” The hands are kept joined throughout the service to symbolize the “oneness” of the couple.
The Crowning
The service of the Crowning, which follows, is the climax of the Wedding service. The crowns are signs of the glory and honor with which God crowns them during the Mystery. The groom and bride are crowned as the king and queen of their own little kingdom, the home—domestic church, which they will rule with fear of God, wisdom, justice, and integrity. When the crowning takes place, the priest, taking the crowns and holding them above the couple, says: “The servants of God, (names), are crowned in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.” The crowns used in the Orthodox wedding service refer to the crowns of martyrdom since every true marriage involves immeasurable self-sacrifice on both sides.
The Common Cup
The service of crowning is followed by the reading of the Epistle and the Gospel. The Gospel reading describes the marriage at Cana of Galilee, which was attended and blessed by our Lord and Savior Christ, and for which He reserved His first miracle. There, He converted the water into better wine and gave of it to the newlyweds. In remembrance of this blessing, wine is given to the couple. This is the “common cup” of a better life, denoting the mutual sharing of joy and sorrow, the token of a life of harmony. The drinking of wine from the common cup serves to impress upon the couple that from that moment on, they will share everything in life—joys as well as sorrows—and that they are to “bear one another’s burdens.” Their joys will be doubled, and their sorrows halved because they will be shared.
The Walk
The priest then leads the bride and groom in a circle around the table on which are placed the Gospel and the Cross, the one containing the Word of God, the other being the symbol of our redemption by our Savior Jesus Christ. The husband and wife are taking their first steps as a married couple, and the Church, in the person of the priest, leads them in the way they must walk. The way is symbolized by the circle at the center of which are the Gospel and the Cross of our Lord. This expresses the fact that the way of Christian living is a perfect orbit around the center of life, who is Jesus Christ our Lord. During this walk around the table, a hymn is sung to the Holy Martyrs, reminding the newly married couple of the sacrificial love they are to have for each other in marriage—a love that seeks not its own but is willing to sacrifice its all for the one loved.
The Blessing
The couple returns to their places, and the priest, blessing the groom, says, “Be thou magnified, O bridegroom, as Abraham, and blessed as Isaac, and increased as Jacob, walking in peace and working in righteousness the commandments of God.” And blessing the bride, he says, “And thou, O bride, be thou magnified as Sarah, and glad as Rebecca, and do thou increase like unto Rachel, rejoicing in thine own husband, fulfilling the conditions of the law; for so it is well-pleasing unto God.”
